Hi there, I’m Lena. Actually I’m not. That’s a big fat lie, but it’s the only lie I’ll tell you on this site. I do not work for any of the companies I review, so you will only get my unbiased opinions. Anyways, my mom told me I should use a pseudonym. I don’t generally listen to her, but then I wind up in all sorts of ridiculous situations. So I thought I’d listen, just this once. So I’m Lena.

The adult industry has always intrigued me, finding myself selling used underwear online, and filming myself with an ex boyfriend. Things trailed off, and I found myself bored and seeking something fun to do. So I did the only thing my broke ass could afford: masturbate. And masturbate. And then masturbate some more. Hell, I’d have a guy coming over in the evening and still get myself off three times prior. Needless to say, I’m rather in love with my plethora of sex toys.

Naked Tattooed

And so, my dear readers, I pass all the knowledge I have gained from my many sex toys on to you. One thing you’ve got to understand about me: it takes a huge amount of stimulation to get me off, and neither men nor toys usually get me off. So I’m picky. Sex toys I’ve found well reviewed everywhere have turned into huge disappointments. So if you want the best of the best, I’ve got your back. (And, if you want the worst, I can also tell you what that is.)

Alright, the about section is written, back to masturbation.